Across the cafe’ table
When someone asks me what my hobby is, I would hate to list it as ‘watching people in cafes’. Sounds terrible but to be honest – when I am in a café, by myself, and with time on my hands – which is exceedingly rare – I confess I do tend to watch people at the tables around me.
I find the trick is to not let on that I am watching them – no eye contact just drop your eyes the spilt second before they see you watching them.
So what’s my point you may ask! Yes I do have one, be patient! Recently at a café I watched as two young people in their early 20’s come in and sat at the table across from me. Obviously close friends the young man and woman immediately upon being seated took out their mobile phones and proceeded to update their face book and twitter plus send text messages. They each laughed at separate times – smiled when they read an update – texted furiously but for the complete time they were at the café did not say a single word to each other. It appeared as if they were two strangers sharing a table each engaged in their own little world.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off them – not as if that mattered because they didn’t even look up to know that I was there. On leaving one of them said to the other – ‘Cool – face book done’ to which the other replied – ‘Me too!’
Now before I go further – I love face book and twitter – I think social networking is just brilliant. Yet at the risk of being judged a dinosaur and certainly not judging this couple’s relationship upon the short time I ‘spied’ on them – where has the art of conversing gone too?
There is something about talking – watching people as they communicate to and fro with you. Listening to what they have to say and how they say it – it is so ‘in your face’ it is fantastic.
I just hope that with all the growth of social networking we don’t lose the wonderful stimulating art and enjoyment of a decent conversation face to face.
There is simply nothing like it and face book and twitter cannot replace it!
A champion defined!
Two weeks ago on a Sunday night I, with a couple of million Aussies, watched the great master Roger Federer play and win the Australian Tennis Open. Andy Murray didn’t play that badly – in fact he was good, very good, at times BUT Roger was simply brilliant and breathtaking.Who will forget the tears of Murray and the fantastic comment he made – ‘I can cry like Roger, it’s a shame I can’t play like Roger.’ To be honest Andy Murray will have his day – he will hold a ‘Slam’ trophy high one day without a doubt.
The weekend of the Open Simon Barnes wrote an article in ‘The Times’, which if I have read it correctly makes two points very clearly. Both are related in fact! Barnes comments, ‘You do not get great result without great preparation.’ I can recall Jack Nicholas legendary golfer who after winning a major was asked by a reporter about ‘that lucky shot on the ….. hole’. To which Nicholas replied, ‘It was very lucky if you disregard forty years of practice and preparation.’ When I see a champion I see the countless hours in the gym, practicing shots, running, cycling and a whole lot more unseen and unheard.
For me as a Pastor I speak most weekends – behind the actual talk there is the seemingly never-ending preparation of prayer, reading, writing, thinking, re-writing, crafting, re-writing again and then praying more. The list could go on. Nothing happens by accident. Sometimes I am tempted to take short cuts but every time – the results speak for themselves. Without the preparation – the results just are not there.
Then Barnes said this – ‘When we celebrate a champion, we don’t celebrate the victory alone. We also celebrate the man, the woman, the whole person.’ At last someone has said it. It is not enough to be good on the court, the pitch, or the playing field but outside of the actual ‘playing’ one lives a life that lacks integrity and character. Being a champion as Barnes notes is ‘not just a reflection of your talent it is a reflection of your life.’
Without being in any way judgemental – that’s why Roger Federer is indeed a champion and there is a gap between him and the Tiger Woods’ and John Terry’s of the sporting world. When Federer lifted the trophy he also lifted high something far more valuable – his life – his whole complete life – preparation, integrity and character. A lesson for us all!
Display without words
I can still hear the words of my mother ringing in my ears as I promised her faithfully – well as faithfully as a 10 year boy can – to pick up my clothes from the bedroom floor, ‘Actions speak louder than words!’
There are none among us that have not had those words said to us and as the parent of four children let me confess that I have perhaps, on the odd occasion, said those immortal words. I thought I would never be guilty of repeating to my children what my parents said to me.
The meaning of that timeless phrase is very clear. You know what it means and I know what it means.
Yet the other night the reality of those words came home to me in a very unique way. I am so fortunate to live slightly out of town – at night the sky is not subject to nay light interference. Perish the thought that I nearly said ‘light pollution’. The night sky was so clear – stars not just shining but it seemed that after the recent rain things were just a little brighter. The ‘milky way’ was so visible. I just stood there transfixed – unusual for me who can’t keep still for more than a nanosecond.
Then I remembered the words of David – King and poet, ‘The heavens proclaim the glory of God … day after day they continue to speak, night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word, their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth and their words to all the world.’
They speak yet utter not a sound. Their beauty spoke, their power shouted, their brightness yelled, their magnificence roared, their majesty screamed and their radiance cried out to me yet I heard not a single sound.
Do I speak too much? Do I find myself wanting to have an opinion on everything? Is silence that frightening for me? Do I dominate conversation with my rhetoric? Yes I do – I love to talk – hate to listen – silence a little bit scary for me.
Perhaps the silent creation of God can teach me that my life needs to speak sometimes without words. My life on display without the need for my voice AND yes my mother was right – actions do indeed speak louder than words.
The Loneliest Job
I am a great fan of Nancy Gibb’s writing – she writes the back page essays for Time Magazine and I don’t think there has ever been an occasion where she has not captured my attention and said something seriously good and challenging.
In Time (25 January 2010) she writes about the loneliest job in the world – now what is it you may be thinking? Well – Gibbs then goes on to outline the loneliness of being the President of the USA. It is a very interesting essay but what I love about it was the fact that she then talks about the loneliness of any leader.
It is the ‘nature of the job’ as Gibbs refers to it. Gibbs speaks about the decisions that no one else has to make but you as a leader. According to Gibbs on the day before D-Day General Dwight D. Eisenhower (later President of USA) had to make a decision whether to send two paratroop divisions into a sector where 9 out of 10 would be killed. Eisenhower speaks of hearing all the arguments, weighting all the advice and seeking all the counsel but in the end he was ‘all alone’ in making the decision.
Now I doubt that I will ever have the pressure of that type of decision but I do know the loneliness of decision making. I do know what it is like to sit in ‘the chair’ where the buck stops hoping and praying that the decision I am making will be right. However knowing that there will be some that I get wrong.
Being aware that upon making that decision people will be affected. E-Mails, letters and other communications will follow – not all of them will be nice. Sometimes wishing I had magical powers that made every decision absolutely correct and agreeable to everyone. Alas – that is what it is – wishful thinking.
No leader sets out to make a wrong decision. Eisenhower speaks of ‘conscientiously, deliberately, prayerfully scrutiniz(ing) every argument, every proposal, every prediction, every alternative, every probable outcome’ yet still being all alone in making the right decision.
So why tell you this? Quite simply to ask you to realize the loneliness of a leader’s life when it comes to making decisions AND having grace towards them when decisions are made that you just don’t agree with or perhaps are adversely affected by. Perhaps that is why all of us are encouraged to pray for our leaders. Make no mistake, as Gibbs says – ‘Lonely does not begin to describe’ how leaders live. Yes they choose it but that does not mean it is not lonely. Hopefully this has given you new insight into a leader’s life and how you respond to them?
