The Year 2010 That Was

December is always a month in a rush I think – anniversary, birthday, Christmas presentation for church, a variety of Christmas functions, Christmas itself, then for me each year, holidays. The year closes and there is something about the New Year that brings hope, anticipation and expectation.

Where did this year disappear? It seems that time has become slightly faster, yet at this time of the year I remember all that has taken place.

Time plays tricks on your memory sometimes – the worse doesn’t seem so bad and the great seems to be rather ordinary. Events come and go as I remember.

The engagement of one of my girls – the transformation of a household into a disciplined wedding planning centre – now just a few short weeks until I walk her down the aisle towards a new season of life.

I have enjoyed new friendships, seen some friends pass away far too young, celebrated milestones for precious people in my life, walked their disappointments, shared their tears, loved their intimacy and drank too much coffee listening and talking in safety. Old friends are never replaced by new ones – those early loves still burn so brightly in my soul. Yet new friends bring new life!

There have been attempts at new things – running my first race – combating the frustration of injury, training with people who are now more than running buddies but friends who understand the suffering of a hill but when done together somehow makes us even closer than before we started the run. Who would have thought that sweat and pain could bring new friends and new understanding?

My morning coffee tasted simultaneously with my devotions – journal open before me has brought me moments of manna from heaven. Transcending the tiny seat I occupy in the window of the same café I have frequented for years have been whispers to my soul from the unseen God who I dared to call Father more often this year than before.

Disappointment and joy are held in the palm of each of my hands – I try to let the disappointment pass through one yet hold the joy tightly for as long as I can in the other. My tears and laughter both giving me comfort in this year that was.

Married thirty years this year to the girl of my youth who continues to amaze, bewilder, surprise and tolerate me after all these years. The measure of my love for her now unable to be put into words for fear of dishonouring the duration of time. Four children still under our roof – each tender in my heart, each fills me with pride, each fiercely independent, each faith filled, each a genuine joy and each my friend.

Trust faith and hope still abide in me – my trust in God giving me peace to look around and hopefully with wisdom see things clearly not marred by hurt, pain, loss or insecure envy.

Even now as I write – memory comes, fades, magnifies and haunts me yet I look forward to 2011 as I have never looked forward to a new year before. Yet in the midst of what always seems to be a manic year may I be able to take time – yes take time to love extravagantly, explore further, enjoy longer, forgive easier, think deeply and run further and faster.

2010 the year that was – 2011 the year that is yet to be – honestly can’t wait!