Across the cafe’ table
When someone asks me what my hobby is, I would hate to list it as ‘watching people in cafes’. Sounds terrible but to be honest – when I am in a café, by myself, and with time on my hands – which is exceedingly rare – I confess I do tend to watch people at the tables around me.
I find the trick is to not let on that I am watching them – no eye contact just drop your eyes the spilt second before they see you watching them.
So what’s my point you may ask! Yes I do have one, be patient! Recently at a café I watched as two young people in their early 20’s come in and sat at the table across from me. Obviously close friends the young man and woman immediately upon being seated took out their mobile phones and proceeded to update their face book and twitter plus send text messages. They each laughed at separate times – smiled when they read an update – texted furiously but for the complete time they were at the café did not say a single word to each other. It appeared as if they were two strangers sharing a table each engaged in their own little world.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off them – not as if that mattered because they didn’t even look up to know that I was there. On leaving one of them said to the other – ‘Cool – face book done’ to which the other replied – ‘Me too!’
Now before I go further – I love face book and twitter – I think social networking is just brilliant. Yet at the risk of being judged a dinosaur and certainly not judging this couple’s relationship upon the short time I ‘spied’ on them – where has the art of conversing gone too?
There is something about talking – watching people as they communicate to and fro with you. Listening to what they have to say and how they say it – it is so ‘in your face’ it is fantastic.
I just hope that with all the growth of social networking we don’t lose the wonderful stimulating art and enjoyment of a decent conversation face to face.
There is simply nothing like it and face book and twitter cannot replace it!
Display without words
I can still hear the words of my mother ringing in my ears as I promised her faithfully – well as faithfully as a 10 year boy can – to pick up my clothes from the bedroom floor, ‘Actions speak louder than words!’
There are none among us that have not had those words said to us and as the parent of four children let me confess that I have perhaps, on the odd occasion, said those immortal words. I thought I would never be guilty of repeating to my children what my parents said to me.
The meaning of that timeless phrase is very clear. You know what it means and I know what it means.
Yet the other night the reality of those words came home to me in a very unique way. I am so fortunate to live slightly out of town – at night the sky is not subject to nay light interference. Perish the thought that I nearly said ‘light pollution’. The night sky was so clear – stars not just shining but it seemed that after the recent rain things were just a little brighter. The ‘milky way’ was so visible. I just stood there transfixed – unusual for me who can’t keep still for more than a nanosecond.
Then I remembered the words of David – King and poet, ‘The heavens proclaim the glory of God … day after day they continue to speak, night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word, their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth and their words to all the world.’
They speak yet utter not a sound. Their beauty spoke, their power shouted, their brightness yelled, their magnificence roared, their majesty screamed and their radiance cried out to me yet I heard not a single sound.
Do I speak too much? Do I find myself wanting to have an opinion on everything? Is silence that frightening for me? Do I dominate conversation with my rhetoric? Yes I do – I love to talk – hate to listen – silence a little bit scary for me.
Perhaps the silent creation of God can teach me that my life needs to speak sometimes without words. My life on display without the need for my voice AND yes my mother was right – actions do indeed speak louder than words.
My Swine Flu Experience
In a few weeks I am off to China so I thought I had better get a swine flu injection – you know northern hemisphere winter and all that stuff! So bright eyed and bushy tailed – I turned up at the Ipswich Health Department Plaza attempting to be the first appointment at 9.00 am. My thinking is that if I get in first the nurse giving the injection is also bright eyed and bushy tailed rather than the opposite at the end of a long day! Plus I hate waiting.
I arrive and follow the signs – now I am talking signs – there is no way you could miss where you have to go and when you arrive what you have to do. Obviously this is a tried pathway. There must have been at least half a dozen signs telling you what to do. ‘Take a seat – fill in the green form on the table and wait for someone to collect you’ – so that is what I do!
As I wait a couple appears – they look at the signs – go to the wrong place – come back out – go to a second wrong place then come and stand in front of me. Directly in front of me they read one of the signs again then attempt to go to a third wrong place. Returning quickly they again stand in front of me – I am about to say something and one of them says to me – ‘What do we do mate – you got any idea?’
I hand then one of the ‘green’ forms and tell them to fill it out and take a seat! The young man says to me – ‘Are these the forms the sign says to fill out?’ I politely say, ‘yes’. The nurse appears and the man asks her, ‘Are these the forms the sign says to fill out’ – she points to the sign and says ‘Yes – they are the only ones there.’
I can’t help a smile. Little interactions like this always take my fancy – I often watch these situations with great interest – a silent spectator viewing life’s moments from the sideline.
It’s a bit like life isn’t it? Well that’s what I thought! We can be told something many times over but often it takes someone to lead us. Someone who is close to us to guide us – a friend we trust, a fellow pilgrim, one who has been that way before or taken the path before us. One who when we are unsure even though the course of action seems clear to all around gently counsels us in the right direction.
Everything made sense to the couple when I handed them the right form – isolated walks in life are just so lonely aren’t they?
I had the injection – walked out – smiled at the couple and thought no one was meant to walk this life alone!
Rocky Horror Road Show
An ambulance, siren blazing goes past my office – then a fire engine followed by a police car – all sirens going. What is going on – curiosity has got the better of me? I leave my office – walk outside and then I see it. The stark reality of a car crash is certainly very confronting even if it is staged.
Every year at our church over a thousand Grade 12 students come to the Rocky Horror Road Show. A joint emergency services Year 12 School Leavers Harm Minimization Initiative – everyday demonstrates the reality of what can take place where young people, drugs, alcohol, and cars combine to form a fatal attraction. This is especially relevant as many of the young people at this educational day will be part of end of school celebrations.
So before my eyes was a staged crash – appearing very real – teenagers in a crashed car – even the blood looks real – one teenager killed another badly injured – two others hysterical – ambulance and fire officers cutting the car open to free the victims – police interviewing the driver – all this in front of a memorized crowd of potential school leavers.
The message of ‘Don’t be a statistic!’ is driven home in the most dramatic way.
Ipswich District Crime Prevention Coordinator and project manager Sergeant Nadine Webster said all emergency services wanted to deliver a lasting message to young people. It certainly did that for me and no doubt in my mind it does it for the onlooking young people as well.
I thought again how a picture says a thousand words – as a communicator I stood there and again realized the power of a picture. How do I utilize this vivid experience in how I communicate? Sometimes I wonder if too many words are used in so many situations of life including my communication when all that is need is a picture.
